Enough
by lakergirl4life
Summary: When wanting the same thing has to be enough... Jason goes to see Carly after Sonny stops by wanting to know if Jason's sleeping with Carly. Jarly


A/N: This conversation wouldn't leave my mind and we all know the muse does what the muse wants. The beginning dialogue is from the show. For brevity's sake, Elizabeth does not exist and Carly is not married to Jax.

"I just - I just want the truth," Sonny asked. "Are you sleeping with Carly? Or am I the father of the baby?"

Jason stared at Sonny for a few moments. He could see the desperation in Sonny's face, he knew that Sonny believed that Carly took away the boys to punish him, but that wasn't true. Sonny honestly thought that Carly was going to wake up one day and give him back the boys. But she wasn't going to, especially now that there wasn't a new baby to draw her back into Sonny's life. "Carly is not pregnant."

"She tell you that?" Sonny asked, his voice filled with suspicion. His eyes searched Jason's, as if looking for some indication that he was lying.

"She didn't have to tell me anything, Sonny," Jason said. "I saw the test. There is no baby."

"Okay, but according to Carly, you - you could've been having her baby," Sonny said. "I just - I just want to hear the truth from you. Are you sleeping together?"

Jason leaned against the door, his conversation with Carly still fresh in his mind. She was right, he would've hated lying for her but he would've done it. He would've done anything to make sure that she got to raise her baby even if it meant lying to Sonny. "That's none of your business," Jason said.

"Is that a yes but you're not going to tell me? Or is it a no and you're avoiding the question?" Sonny asked.

Jason hated lying. After the accident he couldn't lie. The world was black and white for him, either something was true or it wasn't. There weren't shades of gray for him. But now there were. He still hated lying, but he would in a heartbeat if it meant helping Carly. Everyone knew it, especially Carly. It was something she counted on, it was her fallback. He once promised he'd catch her if she fell and it was a promise he never intended to break. He might get mad or yell, telling her she was creating the problem but the bottom line was that it didn't matter if she was the one that created the problem or made it worse by lying. If she needed him, he'd do whatever it took to get her through it.

"It's none of your business," Jason said. "That's what it is. Aren't you engaged to Kate?" Each passing second left him more and more agitated. He didn't care if Sonny had married Carly four times. Carly was his, always was and always would be. He and Carly were both single and if they wanted to revisit the past or start something new, that was their decision, not Sonny's. "Shouldn't you be focusing on a future with her instead of worrying about whether or not I'm sleeping with Carly?"

"You're avoiding the question," Sonny said, pushing past Jason and entering the penthouse. "I'm not leaving until I get an answer."

"You're not going to get one," Jason said. He could make this easy on Sonny and just tell him he wasn't sleeping with Carly. But why should he? When had Sonny ever made anything easy for Carly?

"Carly's still mad at me for what happened to Michael," Sonny said.

"What happened to Michael?" Jason asked. "You pulled the guards, Michael was shot while he was with you. You shielded your girlfriend - "

"Michael was ten feet away!" Sonny shouted. "You saw the ballistics report. You know the bullet ricocheted. If I had moved to shield Michael, the shot could've been fatal."

"Instead he's trapped in his body," Jason said. When he woke up from the accident he didn't have any recollection of being unconscious. To his knowledge he was never trapped in his body, aware of his surroundings but unable to wake up. He said a prayer every night hoping that Michael wasn't awake and unable to open his eyes or talk or move. Being trapped like that, that was a fate worse than death. "It doesn't matter what the ballistics report said. It doesn't change the fact that your first instinct wasn't to protect your son."

"Are you punishing me too?" Sonny asked, his voice filled with disbelief. "Is that what this is about? Is that why you're sleeping with Carly? To punish me?"

Had Sonny always been this ego-centric? Was this new? Or was he finally seeing Sonny for the person he was? "Everything is not about you," Jason said. He knew that Carly's most elaborate plans occurred when she panicked, when she was backed into a corner and she didn't see any way out. Five years ago, being pregnant with Sonny's child was what she wanted most in the world. Now it would be the end of her world.

"Carly's my wife," Sonny said.

"Ex-wife," Jason said. "She also married and divorced Jax since she divorced you. A marriage she didn't want in the first place and you're engaged to another woman. Would Kate like you policing Carly's sex life?"

"How could you do this to me?" Sonny asked. "You slept - "

"Don't," Jason warned. It had taken him a long time, but he'd finally gotten over Carly sleeping with Sonny. The last thing Sonny wanted to do was imply that him sleeping with Carly would be a betrayal. How was that for irony? Sonny felt betrayed because he thought he slept with Carly, when he was the one who betrayed both of them all those years ago. "Don't even mention the word betrayal."

"Come on," Sonny said. "You know how I feel about her. You know that we're connected and that it's only a matter of time before we get back together. That's what we do. We fight, we date other people but we always get back together."

"You knew that I loved her!" Jason shouted, his voice becoming louder with each word. He'd gotten past that night, he'd forgiven both of them but the anger was ever present. It was usually pushed down so far he didn't think about it, but tonight Sonny brought it to the surface. "You knew that and you didn't care! You saw what you wanted and you took it! You didn't care how many people got hurt in the process as long as you got what you wanted."

"So this is payback?" Sonny asked. "How long have you been waiting to sleep with her? How long has this been going on? She said it happened when Michael was in ICU. Was that the first time or were you just waiting around for my wife to crawl into your bed? How long have you two been betraying me?"

Jason grabbed Sonny and pushed him against the wall. "Don't talk to me about betrayal," Jason said, shoving his forearm against Sonny's throat. He knew he should let Sonny go, that he should kick him out or leave before things got out of hand. He saw the fear in Sonny's eyes and it excited him. It'd be easy to choke him, to make him pay for every wrong. But he wouldn't. Not now. Right now he had something more important to do. "Leave now before I change my mind." Jason let go of Sonny, grabbed his keys and left.

* * *

Carly always told him that she had this need to be first in his life. That regardless of who he was with or who she was with, she wanted him to put her first. She put him first time and time again, even when he didn't deserve it. It was selfish and co-dependent, but it was their relationship. Theirs and theirs alone. He knew that she'd go to the ends of the earth for him, and he'd go to hell and back for her. It was just how it was between them, how it'd always be. No one really understood their friendship, no one needed to as long as they did.

He rarely thought in what ifs. He didn't see the point of hypothesizing about what could've happened when it didn't or couldn't. But tonight Carly asked him to be the father of her baby if she were pregnant with Sonny's child. Carly was afraid of the danger and she had every reason to be. She'd already lost one son and wasn't about to lose another or place another child in the line of fire. In her backwards way of thinking, him claiming the child then giving it up kept the kid safer. But safer from what? Safer from Sonny or from the danger? He had no right to ask, but he had to know.

Jason climbed off his bike, nodding to the guard that was discreetly monitoring her house. Walking up to the door, he hesitated before knocking.

"It's late," Carly said, opening the door and motioning for Jason to come inside.

Her eyes were filled with questions. He hadn't stopped by her house once since he'd taken over the business. Carly wanted Morgan out of the line of fire, and as much as it pained him to be away from his godson, his namesake, to keep him safe he had to keep his distance. That same argument didn't work with Carly, he tried to tell her she had to stay away but she wouldn't listen. She said she was adult and the risks were hers to take. That she couldn't lose him in addition to losing Michael. What she hadn't realized was that he didn't want to lose her, but to keep her safe he would've kept his distance.

"I'm not in the mood for another lecture," Carly said.

"That's not why I'm here," Jason said. "You would've lied to Sonny to keep him away to the kid. You would've let him think the kid was mine."

"Yes," Carly said. "Go ahead and say it. I'm a horrible person. I - "

Jason reached out to Carly, lightly grabbing her wrists. "That's not why I'm here," Jason said. "You're not a horrible person. You're a good mom, you'd do anything to protect your children." And that was one of the things he loved most about her. No one knew Carly as well as he did. Everyone thought her lies were born out of malice, out of selfishness. But they weren't, and that was why he went along with them. She'd do anything to protect her kids, including keeping them from their fathers.

"I did a great job with Michael, didn't I?" Carly asked, pulling free from Jason's grasp and wiping the tears from her eyes.

"All of us made mistakes," Jason said. There were so many things he'd do differently if he had the chance. He couldn't pinpoint one moment where things went wrong, but every decision that was made helped determine Michael's fate. He'd have to live with that the rest of his life. They all would.

"Why are you here?" Carly asked.

He could make up a reason to be here. He could say he just wanted to check on her, and he did but that's not why he was here. "What - what if what you told Sonny was true," Jason began.

She looked at him in confusion for a few seconds then she realized what he was asking. "Jase, don't," Carly said. "Don't - just don't go there."

"Just answer the question and I'll leave," Jason said. He knew the answer, or at least he thought he did but he needed to be sure. "If you were really pregnant with my baby would you want me to give her up?"

"Never," Carly answered without the slightest hesitation. Her eyes filled with fresh tears and she took a few steps back, "Do - " Carly paused and shook her head in disbelief. "Do you honestly believe that I could do that to you?"

"No," Jason said, his voice raw with emotion. She'd done it to AJ. Tony too. She'd just done it to Sonny. He had to be sure she wouldn't do it to him. Not that it was possible, but he had to know. He stepped forward, closing the distance between them. He gently ran his hand across her cheek, wiping away her tears with his thumb. She leaned into his touch and he leaned forward, resting his forehead against hers.

Carly sighed and wrapped her arms around Jason, hugging him tightly. "Never," Carly whispered. She quickly kissed his cheek then pulled back.

Jason cleared his throat, "I should get going," Jason said. He touched her face one last time and turned to leave but Carly grabbed his hand.

"Her - you said her," Carly said.

"Carly - "

"You said her," Carly said, refusing to back down. Her eyes flashed with determination. "You've thought about this - our baby."

"There is no baby," Jason said. He shouldn't have come here. There wasn't any point to bringing up something that wasn't going to happen.

"I wanted her too," Carly said. "I still want her."

Jason sighed, "This doesn't change anything," Jason said. He knew he shouldn't of come here, that he was being selfish. The only reason he came here was to see if Carly would choose him over Sonny. He needed to know that she wouldn't lie to him about the baby like she would lie to Sonny. He knew she would choose him, she always had but tonight he needed to hear it. Unfortunately knowing the truth was going to make it that much harder for him to leave. Nothing changed, they still couldn't be together and that was his fault, not hers. He was the one with the issues, not her. He was afraid of losing her. Over the years too many people had walked in and out of their lives and the only thing that was in tact was their friendship. He wasn't going to risk it, especially now. He couldn't. The only way to keep her in his life was to not let her in all the way.

"I know," Carly said, her voice filled with understanding and regret. "You should get going. Morgan was up a little while ago and if he hears your voice - "

Jason nodded, glancing towards the stairs, "Yeah," he said. It wasn't fair of him to come here. He knew that Carly wanted a future with him, but he couldn't give her one. So instead she let herself love and be loved, and got married because she couldn't have him. It wasn't her fault. He couldn't blame her for trying to build a life when he wouldn't give her the one she wanted. He tried to move on too, but it never worked. Not really. Sometimes he was happy with someone else, just like she was but it never lasted. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come here tonight." It wasn't fair of him to remind her of the things they could never have, even if they both wanted them.

"It's okay," Carly said, sadly smiling. "Now I know - well, I always knew. But now I really know that deep down, you want the same things I want." She glanced at a picture of Michael and Morgan then looked back at Jason. "You don't have to worry about me crawling in your bed to seduce you, because - " Carly paused and shook her head. "Just know that I won't. Because one day, you're going to realize that you can't live without me - us - and you know I'll be waiting."

"It's too dangerous," Jason said.

"You're not Sonny," Carly said. "You won't make the same mistakes he did. I know you'd find a way to keep us safe. When that day comes, we'll be here. Until then, just knowing that you want it too, it's enough. It has to be."

Jason reached for Carly, pulling her closer. He leaned forward and hesitated slightly before kissing her cheek. "Goodnight." It'd be so easy to kiss her. To give her the future she always wanted, the one they both did but he wasn't sure either of them would be able to pay the price if something went wrong. If anything ever happened to Morgan he'd never be able to forgive himself and he knew Carly wouldn't either. Even though he wanted more, having her in his life as his best friend would have to be enough.

THE END


End file.
